Diary of a Diehard

The Diamondbacks have announced that they will be unveiling a new mascot on Friday. For the past two and a half years, the team has resisted the temptation to add a mascot and thereby maintain some sanity at the ballgame. But after attendance has been down 2 percent this season, it seems the marketing department has won out. Leading up to the big game on Friday, the Diamondbacks are holding a couple of contests for the fans to guess the name of the mascot and also what type of animal it is. My kids and I have been out to the Diamondbacks web site trying to figure out what the mascot should be. At the game each night, they hold a contest similar to Wheel of Fortune where part of the name is revealed and you have to guess what it might be. Trina took this as a personal challenge and has spent the last two nights racking her brain trying to figure out what the name is. So far, they have revealed _A_TER. For eight and one-half innings Trina went through every permutation of word that she could think of. Finally, as the final out was recorded, she determined that the name has to be BAXTER. Now if we can only figure out what type of animal we are dealing with, we will be set.

After what seemed like an eternity (hey, without baseball seven days is an eternity), the Diamondback came back to town. With Mallorie in tow, I jumped in the car and headed to Bank One Ballpark to catch a game. The Diamondbacks are playing the San Diego Padres which means that maybe this series we will see Tony Gwynn on the field. He is a pretty cool guy and is great with the kids so we decided to go down for batting practice. While the Diamondbacks were up, Bernard Gilkey came to the plate. He lined a couple into left field while Mallorie and I stood along the wall at the foul line. The very next pitch was lined hard and headed straight for Mallorie. She was like a deer in headlights as she stood staring at her impending doom. I instinctly took off my hat and held it like a mitt hoping to stop the ball before it got to Mallorie. The ball whizzed by me and into my waiting hat. Unfortunately, my hat was no match for the ball. The bill separated from the hat with the ball still cradled inside. The hat gently landed in Mallorie’s lap where she retrieved the ball and gave me back what was left of my hat. It looks like it is time to get a new hat.

Nineteen years ago, I was a nervous wreck. I can remember being up at 4:30 AM and not being able to go back to sleep. I packed and unpacked what I would wear today about a million times. I watched the sun rise understanding this would be the last day I would do this alone. At six, I got in my car and drove across town where I met Trina. She was beautiful that day as she is every day. Her eyes sparkled as we looked at each other unaware of the consequences of the decision we were about to make. As the day went on and the activities became more hurried, it has still not sunk in that I was no longer a bachelor and that I would be sharing an eternity with this wonderful woman. I look back over the years and I cannot imagine my life with anyone else but Trina. It is somewhat sad that while we were exchanging wedding vows, all I heard was “take this man for better” while all Trina got was “or worse”. I will admit, I am not the easiest person to live with and at times it would be easier to live without but through all of that Trina has stuck around. Perhaps it is her maternal instincts since I have been told on more than one occasion that Trina is raising six kids rather than five and a husband. I may have aged through the years but never grown up. Looking back over our marriage, it has been quite an adventure. Whether it was taking a spring break from college and driving to Disneyland where we slept in the car because I forgot to reserve a hotel room, or breaking her Precious Moments figurine when I hit an errant nerf ball when playing in the living room, Trina has endured it all. In many cases she merely shakes her head and quietly walks off. If the Lord does indeed watch over us, He and Trina will have a long talk when we leave this earth at which time Trina should be awarded sainthood. I love her with all my heart and am grateful that in a time of weakness, she agreed to be my wife.

This year, Father’s Day and our wedding anniversary fall on the same day. This is the first time that has happened since we have been married and I have to admit, I was less than thrilled when I first realized this. How in the world could the schedulers not have understood the monumental importance of this date and not scheduled a home game for the Diamondbacks. I think this is the first time since the Diamondbacks have been in existance that I have not been at a game for our anniversary. Trina seems almost relieved. I cannot imagine why since I take her to the game every year on this day. I had thought about taking her to Colorado to celebrate our anniversary but I could not get tickets to the game. So instead, I am left to shop for Trina a gift that expresses our love. Looking back over the past few occasions, I have been less than successful in my gift giving. On Valentines Day there was the Diamondbacks teddy that she never wears. On Mother’s Day there was the Diamondbacks hat that I have never seen her wear. I am not quite sure what is wrong with her. I asked the kids what I should get their mother for her anniversary and the answer was unanimous, nothing with a Diamondbacks logo. I was shocked, surely they were mistaken but I decided to play it safe. I spent the past several days looking around to see if I could determine what it was that she needed. After careful analysis I found the one thing that she could definitely use. It was brilliant. Every time she picked this item up, she would think of me and the love I have for her. It was settled, I am going to get her a new spatula. Not wanting to be in the dog house once again, I decided to add a little something to it and got her a new Diamondbacks shirt that she can wear to the game this week. Yeah, I’m feeling pretty good about this one.

After a four game series where they split with the Los Angeles Dodgers, the Diamondbacks were off to Colorado for a three game series with the Rockies. I had really wanted go up to one of the games in Colorado but Trina slammed the brakes on that idea. She seems to think that 83 games in Phoenix (81 regular season plus 2 Spring Training) plus a series in San Diego are plenty of baseball. It is obvious that I need to continue to work on her priorities since they still seem to be a little out of whack. At first I thought she didn’t realize the importance of this series but as I tried to explain it to her she just stood there with her arms crossed staring at me like I was a small child. I attempted to explain to her the other benefits of making this road trip. We would be able to get out of the heat. We could go to some of the museums in Denver or perhaps take the kids to the Denver Mint to watch as money was being created. It would be a change to get away from all the hassles of everyday life. All of these valid arguments were shot down one right after another. How could she not see the beauty of this plan and jump at the opportunity. Dejected, I was relegated to watching the game on television. As it got to game time, I turned on the television only to find that tonight’s game had been rained out. Trina of course took this opportunity to drive home a point. “You mean I would have been stuck in a hotel room with 5 kids and a husband staring out the window at rain falling down? Yeah, that sounds like a vacation.” On paper, this had seemed like a good idea.

It has been quite a wild day as we rush around doing last minute shopping for the upcoming Father’s day. Given that both Trina and my parents live in Idaho, we are a little tardy in this. My dad has come to expect that his present will not arrive actually on Father’s Day but should be there sometime before the fourth of July. I will try to call him although he will probably be on a boat fishing somewhere. At the very least, I will send an e-mail knowing full well that my dad checks his e-mail once a year when it is raining to hard to go fishing or there is to much wind to go goose hunting. I have a lot of admiration for my dad, he has taught me many valuable lessons in life which has helped mold me into the person I am today. Besides, through borrowing his tools, I have been able to accumulate quite a collection myself. It is always difficult shopping for my dad for any occasion. It is not that I don’t love him or want to get him the perfect gift. Rather on the contrary, I would love to come up with something he would love and cherish. But after sixty years on this planet, my dad has accumulated a lot of stuff and doesn’t really need anything else. I am left to ponder what would be appropriate to send to him. In the past couple of years it has been relatively easy. I sent him something nice from the team shop. Now though, I am not sure he needs another Diamondbacks polo shirt or another hat. So I am left wondering what I should do. As I wandered around the mall, my gaze goes from display to display looking for something to catch my eye. I was fascinated with the singing fish but I’m not sure my dad would appreciate such a cultural gift. Not to mention my mom would kill me for introducing such an item into her decor. I guess the search will continue.

In an odd turn of events, there was actually a triple header on ESPN for the game of the week. This was the result of weather, early schedules, and sheer luck. It was a perfect way to spend the middle of a week. I went into work early so that I could leave and watch all three games on television. To be quite honest, the first two games were merely time fillers until the Diamondbacks and Dodgers game came on at 7:10. Most of the Diamondbacks away games are broadcast on 3TV, a local station in Phoenix. This makes it easy for me to watch them when they are out of town. Fox Sports Arizona has most of the home games and some away. Since I do not get Fox Sports Arizona, I am left to listen to these games over the radio. Well today happened to be one of the days when the game is also on ESPN2. As game time approached, I readied all the things I would need so that I would not have to be disturbed while the Diamondbacks were on. I had chips, dip, a hot dog, a small cooler of pop, an Internet connection to check the other games, and my Diamondbacks hat. Only 2 minutes until the game started. I changed channels only to find the College World Series game was still being played. I could not believe that they would not preempt a college game for the beginning of the Diamondbacks. According to the Internet, the game has started and I am left looking at USC versus Florida State. Since the Diamondbacks did not draft players from either of these schools, I could care less about the outcome of this game. Granted, baseball is baseball but not when the Diamondbacks are on. Finally, Florida State scored so that the game was over. After what seemed like an eternity, the commercials ended and we were sent to Los Angeles. There was Luis Gonzalez standing on second base, “Hey how did he get there?” I shouted to no one in particular. Before I even finished that sentence, the screen went black and a message appeared in the center of the screen, “This program has been blacked out in your area.” I jumped to my feet screaming as the game went black never to be seen again. How could Major League Baseball be so cruel. I spent the rest of the evening staring at this black screen listening to the game unfold on the radio still in disbelief of what had just happened.

I have always thought of myself as a relatively intelligent person. I graduated from college in two years and my IQ was within two points of being classified as genius. I have a near photographic memory (although I sometimes forget to load the film) and I have a knack of analyzing things to death. Even with all of that, I suffer from at least one annoying personality trait. (Notice I said at least one. Trina is keeping a list and the last time I saw it, it was a four volume set.) I detest the number thirteen. I know that there is no such thing as luck and destiny is something that should remain the domain of my new age psychic friends but I cannot help but dislike thirteen. Nothing good has ever come from this number in my life. It was March 13 when our daughter died, I broke bones and was injured missing most of the baseball season when I was 13. I even got my butt kicked in a fight once by a guy wearing size 13 shoes. Thirteen and I have come to an agreement over the years. I ignore it and it will ignore me. So far, this seems to have worked. If I play things real low key and just try to survive today, weird things won’t happen to me. I have tried everything over the years, lucky rabbit’s foot, four leaf clover, lucky charms (I especially like the new blue diamonds marshmallows) but nothing seems to counteract the effects of thirteen. At first I thought there would only be a problem when the thirteenth landed on a Friday but the only difference that makes is that I at least have a weekend to overcome its effects. When it lands on a Tuesday, I still have three more work days to deal with the aftermath. Now where did I put my lucky socks?

A single three game home stand is very comparable to a drug dealer giving you a taste of drugs before getting you hooked. Just when you start enjoying yourself, they yank it out from under you and you are left begging for more. This is where I am at right now. After a brief weekend series with the Anaheim Angels, I am left watching the Diamondbacks on television for a week. It wouldn’t be so bad except these next two series will determine who will be leading the National League Western Division going into the All-Star break. With a four game series against the Los Angeles Dodgers and a three game series with the Colorado Rockies, the Diamondbacks could either open up a monster lead over the second and third place teams in their division or they could end up in third place before the next home stand. I find myself pacing the floor waiting for the game in Los Angeles to start. It is obvious that it is going to be a very long week while the Diamondbacks are out of town. Besides no games at BOB, I am forced to deal with a new and improved honey-do list that includes plumbing. There is nothing I detest more than dealing with pipes and leaking faucets. It seems every time I try to work on the plumbing, the results are the same. I end up doing the wave. In most cases, it is a tidal wave. You would think after replacing two floors, a cabinet, and numerous bathroom rugs that Trina would learn her lesson. Instead, she insists on including these items on my household list. Oh well, it will give me a chance to try out my new Diamondbacks beach towel.