Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the locker with care,

In hopes that Brandon Webb soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of double plays danced in their heads.

And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my Diamondbacks cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the infield there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a 6’ 10 starting pitcher, and eight tiny position players.

With a little old manager, so lively and gellin’,

I knew in a moment it must be Bob Melvin.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Now Johnson! Now, Webb! Now, Hernandez and Davis!

On, Byrnes! On, Young! on Quentin and Jackson!

To the end of the outfield! To the top of the wall!

Now leap away! Leap away! Leap away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the warning track the players they flew,

With a van full of bats, and Bob Melvin too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the street

The prancing and pawing of each little cleat.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the walkway Bob Melvin came with a bound.

He was dressed in Sedona Red, from his head to his foot,

And his uniform was all tarnished with grass stains and soot.

A bundle of bats he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pencil he held tight in his teeth,

And the bite marks encircled his pencil like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, from an extended off season,

And I laughed when I saw him, until I looked in the mirror!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the lockers, then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the walkway he rose!

He sprang to his golf card, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

“Happy Spring Training to all, and to all a good-night!”

There is just no way I am ever going to be able to sleep tonight. Knowing that pitchers and catchers report tomorrow the excitement is just too much. I tried to get my mind off of things but it was no use. This is just like Christmas Eve and I am just going to have to lay here in bed thinking about all that lies ahead for the 2007 season. Its times like this I am excited about baseball and all that the game means.

As I approached this day I had given things a lot of thought. First, Valentines Day is filled with hearts so it was important to give something from the heart. Second, Valentines Day is red so I should definitely think of something red to show my love. Third, Valentines Day signifies unwavering devotion so I should give something to show how loyal my love was. And fourth, Valentines Day should not involve long lines because I hate lines. So given these parameters I developed a plan of attack. I decided on a gift and I even went the extra mile to create a handmade card to express my love for Trina. After getting everything together I carefully wrapped the present and set it on her bed so that she would see it as soon as she came in the door. She was obviously excited as I am sure she thought I had forgotten all about today being Valentines Day. She opened the card which showed a picture of Chase Field. Inside the card it said, “Home is where your heart is and my heart belongs to you (and the Diamondbacks).” It must have touched her deeply because she didn’t say anything for several moments. After several deep breaths which I think helped her to compose herself she opened her gift. I was excited to see how happy she was, tears fell down her cheeks as she looked at a new Sedona Red Diamondbacks polo shirt and a bag of peanuts for Opening Day. I got choked up just seeing how emotional this gift made her. Sometimes you just have to do the right thing. I went to bed pretty proud of myself. Trina even said this Valentines Day was different than any other one she had ever had. That’s a good thing right?

Each year it is the same thing. I eagerly await the arrival of my season tickets because I know I will be occupied for 83 days from the end of March through the end of September. We have two tickets meaning that one member of my family will go with me to each game. The identity of my game partner is usually closely tied to the promotional schedule. Each child has a specific giveaway that they don’t want to miss. Tiffany for example is a huge D-Bingo fan and she immediately calls the Friday games where that occurs. Dakota and Whitney are the only ones eligible for the kids giveaways so they pick up Sundays and Wednesdays. Mothers Day and our anniversary belong to Trina. Tiffany picks her birthday and Dakota takes his. Then it comes down to bobblehead days. This is usually the primary source of contention around our house. Multiple kids love the bobbing head guys which normally means that I need to buy extra tickets for those games. In the past that meant 2-3 games. This year though there are six bobblehead games spread throughout the season. By the end of the night I have printed out five copies of the Diamondbacks schedule each with a family member’s name at the top. They have gone through the schedule and put their name of those games they want to attend. It is a long and arduous task but at the end we have planned out our spring, summer, and fall. If only the other aspects of my life were as well planned as this.

This was obviously not getting me anywhere so I turned to dictionary.com to see if maybe there was a description of legacy that would give me an idea of how long it is. There are seven definitions for legacy. The first five are from the unabridged dictionary and consist of

1. Law. a gift of property, esp. personal property, as money, by will; a bequest.
2. anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor: the legacy of ancient Rome.
3. an applicant to or student at a school that was attended by his or her parent.
4. Obsolete. the office, function, or commission of a legate.
5. of or pertaining to old or outdated computer hardware, software, or data that, while still functional, does not work well with up-to-date systems.

The last two definitions come from the American Heritage dictionary and are listed as

1. Money or property bequeathed to another by will.
2. Something handed down from an ancestor or a predecessor or from the past.

Given these definitions the only logical choice seemed to be definition number 2 from American heritage. It may be a stretch to think that the franchise is old enough to be handed down from an ancestor to another but now that we have a decade of history we may start seeing team allegiances that cross generational boundaries.

This is an interesting development. On one hand if you close one eye, stand on your left foot and squint just right you can see what they are trying to accomplish. They believe that consistent humidity and ball structure should eliminate much of the effects of altitude and other aspects that make balls carry in some stadiums. In my mind they are eliminating much of the home field advantage that some of these clubs possess. This decision also seems somewhat arbitrary since they never talk about the fact that some of the stadiums have pitching mounds slightly higher or lower than regulation nor do they say anything about the height of the infield grass. Take Wrigley Field for example, it is notorious for having long luscious grass in front of the plate that causes balls to just die there. Artificial surfaces such as those in Tampa Bay play like a billiard table making balls skip into the outfield quickly. Park dimensions vary dramatically in each park further eliminating the possibility of a consistent flow to the game. And having all balls in all parks conform to the same level of temperature and humidity does not account for the various differences in air density within the stadium. Will they next be asking teams to pump in heavier air so that all of the stadiums are the same? If Major League Baseball is interested in leveling the playing field so to speak they need to be consistent in all manners not just with the baseball itself.

The potential silver lining in this plan is that Bud Selig may just be able to get a discount on his own personal humidor if he promises to buy 31 at the same time. This may also be my golden opportunity to get a job in baseball. I wonder how much humidor operator pays and I wonder what kind of training you have to have?

The Arizona Diamondbacks have had many hats throughout the years. Beginning with the three color versions prior to their inaugural season all the way through to the purple “A” hat that has become their signature. Last fall they introduced their colors and logos and with it came two new hats. The Sedona Red with the new styled “D” logo would be both their home and away hat for the 2007 season. The second hat (which by the way is my favorite of the two non-purple hats) is an alternative hat that is only worn with the black alternate jersey. It is a black hat with a Sedona Red and Black “A” logo. This should have greatly simplified my life but it didn’t. Today the Diamondbacks announced they would add a third hat to the ensemble. This hat would be worn during Spring Training, for batting practice during the regular season, and for players to work out in. It is a black hat but with a Sedona Red and Sonoran Sand “D” logo on the front. They also introduced the batting practice jersey which is Sedona Red with the Black and Sonoran Sand “D” logo in the upper right. Immediately I knew that I had to find one of these new hats. The jersey can wait until my birthday but I need to start breaking in the hat. I spent the better part of the evening in the car or on the phone traveling to various shops around the valley trying to find one of these hats. In the end I was just like the cap salesman from the children’s book. I was sitting under a tree with mocking monkeys above me and I didn’t have a hat. This is not a good way to start a weekend.

For one, Todd’s brother Mel Stottlemyre Jr. became associated with the Diamondbacks and has become an important of the organization. Mel Jr. began as a minor league pitching coach and last October he was awarded with a promotion to become the pitching coordinator for all of the minor league affiliates. Mel Jr. is a hard working individual who is quickly becoming known through baseball as a great teacher for young pitchers. The dedication, hard work, and pitching philosophy that Mel Jr. teaches and Todd displayed during his career came naturally from watching their father Mel Stottlemyre play and then coach at the major league level. Mel Sr. was of course the pitching coach for the New York Yankees during their resurgence and domination in the 1990’s. Mel Sr. retired from active coaching after the 2005 season but spent Spring Training 2006 with the Yankees assisting their pitching staff. This season Mel Sr. was looking for a change where he could continue to teach and mold pitchers. The Diamondbacks connection again was raised with Mel Jr. and Todd suggesting he work in Arizona. Today the Diamondbacks announced that Mel Sr. has been hired as a pitching advisor to assist during Spring Training and potentially through the season. I believe this will have a profound impact on the young pitchers coming up through the system and those who are on the major league roster. A family tradition of great pitching and a tough attitude may just be the missing piece some of these pitchers need. So while Todd may have struggled on the field, his professional attitude and approach to the game coupled with the caring and family values of the franchise have become a partnership that continues to pay dividends for the team long after a player’s contract is forgotten.

I am sure that at some point Derrick Hall is probably sitting there with a pad of paper noting which attendees are completely out in left field. I am also pretty sure that my user ID is meteorically rising to the top of that list of potential team stalkers. I am not purposefully trying to be a nuisance; I am just really interested in the team and baseball in general. I try to come prepared to these meetings and sit down the morning of the chat to jot down questions I may have. This list is usually over a page in length so I spend the next little while prioritizing the questions and coming up with my top 9. The chat room usually opens up about 15 minutes before the actual event begins so I will submit all of my questions and then sit back and try to assess how pertinent my inquiries were compared to others online. It also becomes a game with me to try and guess how many of my questions will actually be answered. Some of the questions are what I would call softball toss. By that I mean these are easy feel good questions that can be answered to bring the chat back into a positive light. I started including at least one of these questions after the November chat when the fans kind of went crazy about the color change. This month’s fluff question was “which of the 4 new jerseys is selling the best.” I was pretty sure that question would get answered. I wasn’t sure how many others that I asked would make the cut. It was a good month, two of my nine made the cut and two others were asked by someone else so I basically hit .444 which would put me in the fan Hall of Fame if that we a lifetime average.

The Diamondbacks announced this morning that they had come to an agreement with Eric Byrnes on a one year deal worth approximately $4.575 million. My earlier proposition continued to hold up in this instance. I have long stated that if a team and player are less than $1 million off in arbitration numbers then the player will sign for one year. If the difference is larger than $2.5 million then a longer term contract will be the result. My theory is that neither the team nor the player wish to lose a large amount but when the numbers are close there is no incentive or discount to doing a longer term package. With Eric Byrnes signed, the Diamondbacks will enter Spring Training without an arbitration case looming over their heads. Byrnes is still interested in signing for beyond this season but that process will most likely play out over the course of the season. The Diamondbacks have several young outfield prospects coming through the minor league system so they are logically hesitant to tie up all three outfield spots long term. Chris Young and Carlos Quentin are both in their early 20’s meaning neither are going anywhere soon leaving just one spot available for the likes of Scott Hairston, Mark Reynolds, Carlos Gonzalez, and 2005 overall first pick Justin Upton. These players being one or two years away from being Major League ready, the Diamondbacks will closely monitor their progress before offering beyond a yearly contract to Byrnes. At the end of the 2007 season Byrnes can become a free agent. At that point there will most likely be discussions between his representatives and the Diamondbacks to gauge each other’s interest. Until then we can look forward to 162 regular season games with Pig Pen flying and diving around left field bringing the fans to their feet.

You remember how the story begins? Cinderella is living with the mean old step mother and has two butt-ugly step sisters who boss her around and make her do all the crap jobs around the house. Cinderella has to clean out the fireplace, scrub the floors, do the dishes, do the laundry, and basically do everything that the mean old step mother wants without any hope of being rewarded.

Now before I go any farther I must put in a personal disclaimer that all characters within this blog entry are completely fictional and in no way is an inference to any person currently living. So before any of you start coming to the conclusion that the part of the mean old step mother is actually a metaphor for Trina let me assure you that is not the case. I did not marry my mom nor do I even want to entertain that thought. I have enough issues in my life without dealing with the kind of therapy I would need if we went down that path.

Anyway so Cinderella is basically getting the shaft and starts to feel a little sorry for herself. About this time she starts to hallucinate about singing mice that can’t pronounce her name but want to help by making her a cool dress. The butt-ugly step sisters are getting all dolled up to attend the prince’s ball (which I hope is better than Prince’s halftime show) where they plan to land themselves a rich husband. Obviously the butt-ugly step sisters are in need of some serious therapy of their own if they are delusional enough to think that any rich single guy on the planet would ever go for the ugly chick. That may sound sexist but that is not the intent. I am sure deep down these two girls are very warm and loving and that outward appearances do not show their inner beauty. But let’s be real here, they are gold diggers out to make a name for themselves by tagging the rich guy. So who’s really the bad person here, is it the rich guy only looking at the pretty girls or the money-loving ugly girls only looking to get hooked up with a sugar daddy?

Ok, I may have gotten slightly sidetracked here. The point was that Cinderella had worked hard and done everything that was asked of her. Granted she may not have been fully recovered from shoulder surgery but being left-handed she should at least have gotten an invitation to the ball. After all, she could not have been any worse than Russ Ortiz could she? But no Cinderella didn’t get an invitation. Instead butt-ugly girls ripped up her pretty handmade mouse dress leaving her in shambles while they headed off to the Tucson ball. It’s not right I tell you. Cinderella was the Prince’s biggest fan (the one in the castle not the little creepy one who sings although he can’t be completely creepy since he did sing about the purple reign). If anyone deserved to go to the ball and hang out with the other players it was her right? I mean wasn’t she there when the Prince first came into the league? Didn’t she suffer through the inaugural ball attending every game regardless of how bad the Prince’s team played? Did she not have to endure the Richie Sexon debacle and the subsequent 111 loss season? That alone should be justification enough to get a trip to the ball. But Cinderella was not rewarded. Instead she was left crying in the garden with what was left of her mouse dress hoping that someday the Prince would recognize his mistake and send her an invitation to Spring Training.

As I recounted the tale of Cinderella to my kids at bedtime I could see that the story troubled them just as much as it did me. I never realized how depressing fairy tales were until I started reading them this off-season. I seriously need to go to a baseball game.